Wife says to husband...
"Look - I got invited to a 'party' and I won't have to buy a basket, or jewelry, or candles, or even another plastic container!
This party is different because I'm going to MAKE a page for a scrapbook!
I'm going to learn how to put all those pictures we keep in a box into a photo album that will last lifetimes!"
FOR YEARS AFTERWARDS what can be heard in the home:
-"How much can a pair of scissors cost? And why do you need an entire cutting system if you bought scissors?"
-"The photo album was HOW MUCH? You HAD to get a paper trimmer too?
Then please tell me ... what are the scissors for?"
-"How many magazines do you need to buy to be INSPIRED? And what's with all this paper?"
-"You want what for your birthday? A Xyron? What the heck is Xyron?"
-"I don't understand why you need a digital camera. The 35mm I bought
after college works just fine."
-"OUCH!!!! I just stepped on one of your %&*(*&% eyelets! "
-"MORE paper? You haven't even used up what you got already!"
-"First the camera, then the printer, what's next a scanner?"
-"I see ... so if we get these Target cubes you'll be able to see the paper you have and then you won't have to buy anymore?"
-"Son, how many times have I told you - You CANNOT play with Mommy’s tools!"
-"I don't get it...why do we have to go to Lowes to get paint chips if we aren't doing any painting around here?"
-"Don't worry sweetie...we won't tell Mommy you borrowed her stickers to make Barbie look pretty."
-"You had a 40% off coupon and you still spent over $100??"
-"What do you need all this yarn for? You don't even knit! Do you?"
-"No dear. I do not know how to scan and stitch. Maybe someone on YOUR message board can help you there."
-"Who took Daddy's sandpaper?"
-"It's 11PM. Isn't that layout done YET?"
-"Shhh ...don't tell Daddy that Mommy borrowed his sandpaper."
-"Yes, I guess we can stop at that cute little scrapbook store during our vacation."
-"You're going to take a ********? I meant going to a crop... never mind."
-"NO MOMMY! NO MORE PICTURES! NO MORE PICTURES! NO MORE PICTURES!"
-"So who is this Becky Higgins and what's the big deal about her? She an actress or something?"
-"I thought you already had a sewing machine. So what's this one for?"
-"No..I've never printed on vellum before..YES..I can help you figure out the right printer settings..but what the heck is vellum?"
-"Queen of the week doesn't mean you won't still make dinner, right? Right? Whew."
-"You just joined a what? A swap? I'm really happy for you honey."
-"MORE paper? What's so special about this '
And the hardest one of all...
-"Where did all these boxes of pictures come from...I thought you were going to put them all in a scrapbook! "